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MY LITTLE PONY FEATURE ON PAGE 3 THE SAGGITARILS SOCIETY OF ART, MUSIC AND (fanterltrt o (Clmmirlc Monday, April 4, 1983 No. 0001 Price 3 bits Weekly BLANK AS A FLANK JUDGES DISQUALIFY “LITTLE SPARKS IN DRAGON SHENANIGAN FlMhtacfc 1» 1n*< u«vk'* Grand Galloping(killh*td al lit«: Maje «lie Luna Hall. Iwkl in Ihe honor ofllw great Princx8*C«U't4i* by Ihe Sallar in* Society of Art »nil 1 ilernlnre prVMnlinc tiw Au ¡nil »f Lytic*. From left 10 rinhl l.oni Ian A. Bctliod ItorWU. Mr. Sparkle. Mr*. Sparkle. IVvitigjhl Sparkle. Berry Punch. »nil (.'oigMc fl\v¡|¡ghlSpjrkle'*vhiim Ihm ihe write»lyrict uiili). “I've had my brushes with creative magic, and we’re not disappointed by (his outcome. The invitation to C'elestia’s school lor gifted unicorns is good enough lor us." Princess Celestia herself didn't have much of a comincnt on (he issue “I run this show to find the most magical and creative of ponies, and Twilight Sparkle fits so well with what I want to do that I can ignore the small catastrophe that her little poem almost caused " On the subject of Blank as a Flank as a work of lyricism and poetry, many ponies found it to be overly complicated in form and verbose in its lyrics. The subject matter of finding one’s cutic mark was deemed overly dramatic and was told to "get over herself, as we all eventually find our cutic marks" (Continued on page 6. col. 3) CELLO CONCERT AT MAJESTIC LUNA HALL A conccrt by the Royal Cantcrlot Piano anil Cello ensemble was held in the Majestic Luna Hall in Canter-lot on Tuesday. The performance »as noted as passionate and full of cnthusiasum on the part of the performers. It «as only spoiled by the antics of a pink partying pony. This pony, sclf-idcntificd as Pinkie Pic, dcclarcd that the ponies needed to “par-tay” and managed to cause quite a stir by interrupting the royal group's performance. Octavia, the group's ccllist, called her a “pox upon the good taste of music" as she continued plav mg Neighihoo/en's Fifth. HORN INJURY Twenty-five year old Pokey Pierce of Randall Street. Ponyvillc, bruised his horn when he mistook a bowling hall for a balloon. LITERATURE announced their decision late last night to disqualify the winning entrant, filly Twilight (Little Sparks) Sparkle following thousands of angry letters and floor stompings after the reading of her epic poem “Blank as a Flank” at the Grand Galloping Gala last Monday night. The original panel of four judges hastily accepted the decision to rcovkc the prize based on the opinion of four leading fill> psychologists that the young miss Sparkle was severely disturbed, and that her work w as *‘a blasphemy to Goddess and Country.” The psychologists recommended that she should be submitted to proactive psychotherapy immediately. The prize was reassigned to little Lily Bloom for her essay on Equestrian philosophy called “Celestia Save All The Little Fillies.” cits for mam scars. The event The litcrars Competition, which was for fillies and colts aged seven to sixteen, was sponsored by leading Equestrian newspapers and received thousands of entries from schools all o\er Equestria. Ms. Candy Mane, the principal of Cantcrlot Elementary School said Tw ilight. nicknamed "Little Sparks" by her English Teacher because of her songwriting ability, was scholastically advanced for her age. Nevertheless, she fell prey to overly obscure and \crbosc passages which led to low popularity amongst her peers She went on to remark that Twilight Sparkle had a great future academically, and that her progress was unsurpassed in the history of Cantcrlot Elementary Twilight and her parents arc natives of Cantcrlot. having li\ed in the which prompted the reassignment of the prize was not a complete loss for the Sparkle Tamils The bizarre events which proceeded after the reading of the lyrics were a deciding factor in the reassignment as well The words contained so much power that the test subjcct. one dragon egg. exploded and rendered an otherwise babs dragon into a giant monstrosity. If not for the timely arrival of Princess Celestia, who managed to put a stop to the unicorn magic, there is no telling what could have transpired "I w as very conccrncd, bccausc I was momentarily turned into a potted plant." said Mr Sparkle "Twilight is a very spccial filly, \cr> creative and talented, and we want to sec her succeed at what she docs.” His wife, Mrs. Sparkle, brushed the events o(T. kcfkafloyd.deviantart com
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